I Am Woman…Boo-hoo? Not!

It could be depressing. Heck, it is depressing. Study after study showing unconscious bias against women. Data piling up on female vs male ratios and diversity, the latest from Amazon showing, like many other tech companies, that it is heavy on white males, and heavy on male managers. Join the crowd.

But I ask you, is there danger of a downward spiral here? Is there a risk that women will take all this evidence flooding in, and unconsciously use it as a reason they need not expect to succeed? Even worse, if you are a minority and a woman, are you doomed? Double whammy.

When I first started blogging on LinkedIn a few months ago, I was pleased and somewhat surprised that women really seemed to rally round and share topics relating to women’s issues. But as I thought about it, I have grown increasingly worried that there may be a “victim’s syndrome” underway. Sharing can be a sign of bonding, but it cannot be, and must not be, a huge united cry of depression and angst. How to get around that? How to impel the movement forward? Some ideas…

Take it on yourself to educate the men in your life on what the issues are: at home, at work, talk to your father, son, uncle, manager, boss. Evangelize in your company, your team. Help #HeForShe, which educates males and enlists them in the cause of gender equality, to get wider exposure with the men around you so you can do your bit to make it better for the next woman.

Many women in “assertive-aggressive” environments struggle to make themselves heard. It is vital that you find your own way to make yourself visible. Or maybe it is time to go somewhere else where your voice is audible and appreciated.

Many women do not get what they are worth, because they do not negotiate salary. Take it as a sign that you will be different…however uncomfortable the conversation, however much you don’t want to be rejected, give it a shot…you never know!

Research shows women sometimes don’t help other women succeed. Be the one who gives a helping hand.

The list of things we can do to make it better goes on and on.

Everything we are hearing doesn’t need to be a sign that you should give up because “Boo-hoo, the world is a hard, unjust place”. Instead, we need to treat it as a goal to reach for, to be successful despite everything, and to make it better by influencing those around us so they understand what needs to change, and why.

As Tim Cook CEO of Apple, wrote recently of publicly announcing he is gay, “All it does is allow me to…know that I am doing my part, however small, to help others. We pave the sunlit path towards justice together, brick by brick. This is my brick.”

And as Katy Perry sings in her cliche-heavy but energy-filled hit “Roar”:

“I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice.”

Originally published on LinkedIn